Well, this past year had us rolling in the aisles, didn’t it? And weeping, and gnashing our teeth, and even crawling on all fours (if we were a photographer) in order to snap a pic of a young woman’s crotch as she struggled against the combined forces of alcohol, cocaine, and Oxycodone while alighting from a parked vehicle. Drug interactions such as the above can, er, cause you to forget to put on all your clothes, apparently, and photographers quickly seized the initiative as only the gutter press can – by appropriately lying in the gutter. But worthier things occurred this year, so let’s move away from the gutter and spend some quality time to look back on important stuff, like Classic Rock.
More than anything else, 2007 was the year of the Wrinkly Reunion, as scores of ageing rockers from decades-past fought for the limelight. Bands long thought extinct were dredged up and offered to thrilled audiences, like coelacanths eliciting a flurry of excitement in a room full of ichthyologists. What’s that? You don’t know what ichthyologists are? Then you definitely should be reading this article. As each Wrinkly Reunion was announced, fans both young and old raced to be first to buy Van Halen tickets, or Stevie Wonder tickets, or Bon Jovi tickets. It was a mass migration for many forty- and fifty-something’s, many of whom hadn’t been at a concert in many years, and boy did we see some interesting and elegant dinosaurs take the stage, usually with great success.
For your titillation, I have decided to compile a “Best Of” right here. So pull up a pew and grab a load of my Top Ten Wrinkly Reunions of 2007.
10: Genesis. The bald-headed drummer Phil Collins and his multi-talented mates Peter Gabriel and Co. proved they can still do the business, as they stormed Europe and North America with a string of awesome shows, including a concert in Rome in front of 400,000 people. Performing exclusively from the “real” Genesis catalog, this was probably the last ever time the entire band would appear onstage together, ramping the demand for Genesis tickets up to hysterical proportions and reminding us all what proper music is all about. The Turn It On Again Tour 2007 wins a deserved place in the Top Ten. Well done Baldy Collins and the boys!
9: John Fogerty. Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman Fogerty initially returned to the political trenches with his response to the Iraq War, before his appropriately titled Revival album exploded with that Cajun noise his fans know and love. John Fogerty tickets are still selling for this tour, as Fogerty has made peace with his Fantasy Records label to blast out that alligator roadhouse sound like no other. Fogerty’s craft-full mob cut the skeleton for Revival in just 12 days, and his live sound echoes the frenetic but controlled air of a man who’s strong-armed his message through the bayou and to the planet like a surreal, scaly swamp thing with a brain as big as his cutting jaws. Nice one, John, you chopped your way into the Top Ten, no problem.
8: Rush. The Canadian power-rock trio launched their darkly complex guitar-lyrics overlap style on a new tour, in support of their electrifying Snakes & Arrows album this year, and news is that many more dates have been added. The Snakes and Arrows Tour was studded with musical distinction as well as plenty of Rush-esque humor; the cast of South Park appeared onstage as “Li’l Rush” to perform 1981’s “Tom Sawyer”, and Geddy Lee rigged up three rotisseries containing roasting chickens which were periodically tended by chefs – enough to earn Rush a place in any Top Ten, in my book.
7: Bon Jovi. The pop-metal boys with the wide appeal got their act together this year and decided to hit the road. Their huge world tour in support of their latest Number One album, Lost Highway, looks to be drivin’ ‘em wild, and the band will be hitting Japan, Australia, and New Zealand in January, before screaming back into the good ol’ U.S. of A in February, to continue the North American leg. The boys even took a detour to play at the Royal Variety Performance in Liverpool, England, with even Queen Elizabeth II herself jonesin’ for Bon Jovi tickets. Considering that Ritchie Sambora had been in a rehabilitation facility just six months earlier, and the fact that Bon Jovi will also be playing the Super Bowl XLII halftime show in early February, 2008, this has been a heck of a year for the not-so-young-anymore lads. Keep it up Bon Jovi!
6: Van Halen. No Top Ten of Wrinkly Reunions would be complete without Van Halen (especially one with Bon Jovi in it). It’s been 22 years since Van Halen toured with singer David Lee Roth, and the world is waiting. Lee Roth has recently announced that a new album is in the works, and that "the idea is that this will continue on and on and on". Great news for Van Halen fans seeking Van Halen tickets, and indeed for Wrinklies everywhere, as this is one band who always light up the night. The "Van Halen Fall Tour 2007" has become a 2008 World Tour, and who knows where it will end? Welcome to the Top Ten, my friends, and may you continue to dazzle for a long time to come.
5: The Eagles. This is the quintessential American sound of the southwest, where desert nights meet the soft lights of the great cities, and who better to provide a voice for that rustic-yet-metropolitan collision but Don Henley? The Eagles’ Greatest Hits 1971–1975 album remains the best-selling album of all time in the USA, and in late October 2007, the Eagles released Long Road Out of Eden, their first album composing new songs in almost 30 years. The album, described by Henley as “probably the last Eagles album we’ll ever make”, debuted at Number One. Henley also announced that The Eagles were planning to embark on a final farewell tour, which will be detailed when Long Road Out of Eden has been out for six months. Eagles fans will soon be scrambling for The Eagles tickets, and they are a deserved member of the Top Ten Wrinkies for 2007.
4: Stevie Wonder. Stevie Wonder, the soulful pianist icon of funk-Motown-R&B and just about every other cool sound you care to name, has slid in effortlessly at Number Four in the Top Ten. People wanting to buy Stevie Wonder tickets for his "A Wonder Summer's Night" first U.S. tour in over ten years grew massively in number as they flocked to hear the maestro do his thing. Stevie’s Wonder’s 2007 tour was inspired in part by the passing of his mother, and as ever this five decades-long entertainer gave the people what they wanted by grooving out those classic Wonder numbers like it was second nature. This is one smooth wrinkly we don’t ever want to forget.
3: The Police. Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers sent mobs spiraling around in pursuit of The Police tickets when they announced their 2007 reunion tour, The Police's first in more than 20 years. All the old tunes, and vivid memories from the 80s heydays, were brought back to life when these guys took the stage and showed that they could still jam tight, despite personality differences and the passage of time. The tour marked the band’s 30th anniversary, and opened in Vancouver in late May before 22,000 fans. The first song, of course, was "Message in a Bottle", a Police classic, earning Sting and the boys a Number Three spot in the Wrinklies round-up.
2: The Jackson 5. The Jacksons defined the 1970s through fashion, music, and atmospherics, and though the Jackson 5 Reunion Tour remains almost a rumor, it was announced in 2007 and is such a shocking piece of news that it had to be included in the Wrinkly Reunion Top Ten. It is now confirmed that Michael will contribute two songs to the reunion album, but not that he will be jumping aboard the Jackson 5 tour bus. We can only hope. Rumors of a Jackson 5 reunion have circulated like mysterious tendrils of smoke for years, but this is the most tangible version witnessed thus far. It looks like the Princes of Wrinkly Rock might be coming to a town near you very soon, so buy Jackson 5 tickets and boogie!
1: Led Zeppelin. OK, if the Jacksons are the Princes of Wrinkly, then Led Zeppelin are surely the Kings. The mighty 70s Supergroup performed at the Ahmet Ertegün tribute show at The O2 in London in December 2007, amid whispers of a forthcoming tour which sparked a rush for Led Zeppelin tickets. It’s understandable why people crave Led Zep live shows; the way they combined folk, electric blues, rock, and even mythology left an indelible stain on the heavy rock landscape as surely as if it were a circle of mysterious stones, and audiences would die to relive the forging of such mystic monuments in the forests of their ageing memory. Led Zeppelin earned the Number One spot in my Wrinkly Reunions 2007 chart by sheer ability and zero hype. Of all the bands providing a blast from the past this year, Led Zep are the one which commands the most respect musically, and which most strongly possesses a timelessness that will never go out of style. Salute the Kings of Wrinkly Rock, and head out to a Led Zep show near you if you can!
