The secret is out: Eminem and Mariah dated.

According to him, they were together for six or seven months. According to her, it wasn't dating because she was only "with him a total of four times". "With him"? Four times? If that's not dating, it's just kind of slutty. Given the choice, wouldn't she rather call it dating?

I believe Eminem's claim that there was really something there. Not because he's the most trustworthy character, but because it's such delicious gossip that I just want it to be true. Also because Mariah is a diva; divas lie all the time; therefore, Mariah is a liar.

It's especially convenient that this was revealed on Slim Shady's own radio channel, and even more convenient that it comes as he prepares to release his upcoming (due out December 5th) album, Eminem Presents: The Re-Up.

The hip-hop icon does give his former flame a shout-out on the air, conceding "I can never deny her talent, but the fact that she denied we ever had something, that's bad". This is a bit of a turn-around from his 2002 comment to Rolling Stone, "I just don't like her as a person".

It's really too bad that it didn't work out between them. They're both prima donnas, they're both (arguably) talented musicians, they're both annoying when they're talking instead of singing. And they're both kind of strange-looking. I wondered, what kind of children might they have had?

So, I took both of their faces, worked a little Photoshop magic, and arrived at the answer. I give you, Eminemariah Mathers-Carey!

I don't know about you, but I think it looks a little bit like Tori Spelling. You know, only prettier.