And the award for most disturbing birthday boys goes to Bill Wyman, former Rolling Stones bassist of 30 years. Wyman turns 70 today, Oct. 24.

Wyman, who created the first fretless bass and many of the memorable Stones bass lines, is perhaps most notably remembered for his base-less morals.

In 1982, the 47-year-old Wyman began dating 13-year-old Mandy Smith, with her mother’s blessing. Her mother also approved of her young daughter moving in with him. Scotland Yard even investigated the union, but as neither mother nor daughter wanted to press charges, there was not much to be done.

The two were married 6-years later in 1989. But during their blissful 23-month marriage, which ended in 1991, Smith wasted away to a mere 80 lbs. while her “Brown Sugar”- Daddy was off on tour for 5 1/2 months. Too long for the love sick, apparently. Mandy blamed the weight loss on complications with her birth control, as she had been using since she was 14.

Wyman was pretty serious about Mandy, saying in his 1990 auto-biography, “She took my breath away. She was a woman at 13.” Or at least he made her one.

A young woman she was, but she also turned out to be a savvy business-woman as well. Mandy rose above the downfall of her marriage, using the gratuitous press coverage of her affair to propel her own career to new heights. Well, higher heights than she probably would have reached without the free press, anyway.

One of her songs did become a major hit, but for Kylie Minogue. Minogue used Mandy’s “Got to Be Certain” as her second international release, changing the words a bit while keeping the production and background music exactly the same. It landed her a No.1 hit in Australia and No.2 in the U.K.

Another factor that makes this whole situation so disturbing is that shortly after Mandy and Wyman’s divorce, Wyman’s son Stephen, 30, was engaged to Mandy’s 46-year-old mother, completing this twisted family tree. Stephen would have been stepfather to his former stepmother.

While he was involved in some pretty crazy personal issues, Wyman has still been considered the most level-headed and sensible of all the Stones, as he refused to take part in the over-indulgent drinking and drug use that members such as Keith Richards and Mick Jagger are so notorious for. This could come back to his age, as Wyman was at least 6-years the senior of the rest of his band mates.

Wyman’s greatest solo achievement was the bizarre 1981 release “Je Suis a Rock Star,” which went all the way up to No. 14. After leaving the Stones to pursue other such interests in 1993, a few books later and some more obscure solo-work has slowed his musical activity some. He is currently exploring his other talents, both metal detecting and practicing amateur archaeology. Pretty run-of-the-mill for the average retiree.