Blogs

Several evenings ago I was invited round to the home of the Springfield Police Chief for dinner. After the meal (which was frankly inedible) we sat around his Ikea table and amicably chatted as we smoked third-rate cigars the Chief insisted were Cuban (if they were Cuban, I shudder to think what they must’ve been immersed in for the journey across the border, as they literally tasted like camel feces. You’d sleep better in your bed at night if you didn’t thoroughly believe your city’s Chief of Police was an utter nincompoop, not least due to his inability to detect counterfeit garbage).

read more ...

Ricky Hatton climbed into the boxing ring in the desert a while back, and faced a quite diminished Jose Luis Castillo, destroying him with a fourth-round liver shot that sent his giblets through his ribs and his frame to the canvass. During the after-fight interview, Hatton proclaimed himself to have delivered more action in those four rounds than Floyd Mayweather had produced in his entire career, and now the American has lashed back. The Hit-Man’s post-match euphoria, undoubtedly justified to some extent, has hurt Mayweather, who has surely discussed the matter of sorting Hatton out with his close friend, rapper 50 Cent.

read more ...

I am one of those rare people these days that still loves the NBA. Yes, March Madness is better, but my goodness those pros have skills. And when playoff time rolls around, they have heart too. At least some of them do.

I almost didn't watch the game last night though between the Dallas Mavericks and the Golden State Warriors. It seemed like the Mavs would blow the Warriors away. Isn't a 1 versus 8 series supposed to be a walk in the park?

The Golden State Warriors certainly proved me wrong. Baron Davis lead the way to victory on the road (97 to 85) with 33 points (26 in the second half), but the whole Warriors team deserves a lot of credit for playing with tremendous heart and energy. I can't really say the same about a Mavericks team that just seems to lack focus and direction during much of the game.
read more ...

Don Imus has been canned by CBS Radio. After his funding’s been pulled, and he was suspended by MSNBC for his disparaging remarks about the Rutgers University players. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, but what the hell is the big deal?

We created this problem on our own. Just the fact that the word “shockjock” exists as a common term is proof that what this country wants are crazies that take the normal to the next level. Judging by the success of the original shock jock Howard Stern, we simply love what borders on the obscene, what pushed the envelope. We eat up the insults, and it drives up the ratings of those that are doing the insulting. The shock factor is what everyone is getting used to…so that the shock levels must increase exponentially to outdo the last.
read more ...

Police guitarist Andy Summers is scheduled to perform a book signing for his biography, One Train Later at a London branch of Borders on April 4, a few weeks before the once-mythical tour they've all been waiting for begins in North America.
Andy will read from the book he has written, thereby smashing the myth that guitarists (and people from northern England in general) are thickheaded dullards who spend their lives eating tripe and racing pigeons (that's racing pigeons, as in engaging in the sport, not consuming them in pies, as they do wood pigeons, confusing, I know) but are actually quite intelligent when they want to be, they just don't want to be very often.
read more ...

Chelsea are to face the Los Angeles Galaxy on July 21 in an exhibition game as part of what has been termed "the World Series of Soccer" for reasons that have not been made completely clear. Beckham made headlines regularly in England, often for his off-field behavior as much as his soccer skills, and was seen walking around Manchester in a kimono on one occasion, eliciting mass snickers among the Mancunian fashion hawks. The game is probably going to be Beckham's debut, and Americans are anticipating an elegant performance from the effeminate, soft-spoken, dress-wearing former Manchester United midfielder and England captain.
read more ...

Denied entry was the case that they gave him, as Snoop Dogg’s visa was given the no-go in Britain this week.

And all because of one little brawl in April of last year at Heathrow that left seven officers injured and Snoop and five of his buddies in jail for the night. Come on, he’s a rapper, what do you want?

They never should have denied Snoop and his entourage access to the first-class lounge. Thought he was pissed about that, wonder what he’s going to do about this. You think Snoop takes no for an answer from someone making $10 an hour? Please. So he’s banned from British Airways. Does that apply to all British doorways? Britain’s Home Secretary says yes.
read more ...

The Big Fish from England is back on tour, and the synopsis is frankly weird, as ever. Robyn Hitchcock, replete with admiring stars-in-their-own-right REM rockers Peter Buck and Bill Rieflin, as well as Young Fresh Fellows leader Scott McCaughey (collectively known as The Venus 3) are propelling their strangeness across the USA this spring.

The bizarre artist, whose catalog is crammed with references to metamorphic animals and humans, sexual transmigration and conquest, wrapped in an effervescent pop-psychedelic miasma of rotting hypnoskein, is to tour the west coast through April, and his cultish followers are high with expectation.
read more ...

The first announcement that a high-profile performer is gay has come to Mexico … making it the first time the country has caught up to the rest of the world in decades.

Twenty-two-year-old pop sensation Christian Chavez announced that he was gay after photos of himself in Canada in a commitment ceremony showed up on the Internet. Ironic, since most Americans are ashamed of the indecent photos of themselves that show up online from their time in Mexico.
read more ...

The latest in jaw-dropping news is that Britney Spears has shaved her head, inked herself up and is helping the rest of the country think they’re more normal in comparison. And her chopped locks have since surfaced for sale at Esther’s Salon site, www.buybritneyshair.com, for a cool starting price of $1 million.

Since her lip-lock with Madonna, Britney has been traveling down the road of rebellion, but this time it feels different. Though she has been paralleled to the mega-star, Britney’s crossed the Borderline this time. She’s not reinventing as much as destroying; removing the traditional symbols of femininity to expose a raw version of herself.
read more ...