Blogs

If you want to counterfeit something you go to the Far East because they can fake things better than the real thing. Everyone knows that. But some things ain’t meant to be faked and one of those things includes the Olympics Opening Ceremony. I mean if you had bought Olympics tickets at some astronomic rate and were confronted with this Oriental jiggery-pokery you would be entitled to be a bit miffed. Apparently, nobody told our Chinese friends this because last weekend they impressed the world with an amazing opening to the summer games in Beijing. There were gigantic footprints – the "footprints of God", no less – striding across the city in firework form. Fireworks that have been since declared a computer generated hoax! Apparently there are conflicting reports; Richard Spencer of the Huffington Post claimed that the firework God-feet were quite real and that the fakery was concocted to overcome logistical filming problems. On the other hand, The Oregonian reporter Jon Canzano says he was in Tienanmen Square during the ceremony and says people there saw "two tiny flarelike blasts pop in the sky, followed by a lot of nothing". Canzano goes on to say "they were probably baffled by the widespread reports of the lit-up sky, exploding footprints and brilliant fireworks. And today, I'm thinking those people are relieved to learn they're not losing their marbles."
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Fancy yerself a bit of a Manc scally do yer? Because if you do, James tickets are on sale now! James concert dates have been officially confirmed and their American audience will get to see them one more time. The former “Madchester” band are to reunite for a US tour this fall; the James tour schedule will carry the band through September and into October but that’s your lot – if you want to buy James tickets then move now as there aren’t many to go round. James recently released “Hey Ma”, their first album in 7 years and last year’s double-disc “Fresh as a Daisy: The Singles” has brought all you old scallywags out of the closet and into the light. Despite being in the public eye since the early-80s, James didn’t properly arrive until the early-90s. Indeed, when Manchester United won the European Cup Winners’ Cup in Rotterdam in 1991, the crowd danced and sang James’ “Sit Down” en masse. The song became an anthem for Man United soccer fans to the extent that when United won the UEFA Champions Cup 8 years later in Barcelona it was played on the stadium PA system.
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Demi Lovato tickets are gonna be selling like hot buns very soon - if not already - and demand from all quadrants will whip up a storm of speculation, gossip and depraved jackal-like behavior, most probably from those educated and informed enough to know better. That's right; I'm talking about you. You and your unquenchable desire for Jonas Brothers tickets, Demi Lovato tickets and other tweenstuff. And of course, there'll be the others, the lurking vile predators who are the secondary audience; human males of the full or semi-grown variety who we needn't discuss too much here. And I'm not just talking about the paparazzi with their "Miley Cyrus Pregnant!" headlines.
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Do you play Air Guitar? Huh? Come on, don’t give me that rolling your eyes look, answer me! Do. You. Play. Air. Guitar. Eh? Because if you do, you’d better buy US Air Guitar Championships tickets and get your booty down to the American Air Guitar Challenge which starts today, June 3, 2008, in New York City!
I’m not messing around here; you know you can do this. After all, weren’t you the man, back in the day? When you thought your big sister was off doing chores, she was actually creased up with laughter, spying through the door-crack while you made an utter polyp of yourself in front of that mirror you loved so much. Air guitar ain’t for sissies or quitters, that’s for sure. You have to be ready to take some flak in that game. You have to be prepared to truly die (of embarrassment) for your art. I personally have a long and distinguished career as a major "airness" figure (in my house at least), and I can take you through 3 Doors Down’s “Kryptonite” better than Matt Roberts himself! They’d flock to buy 3 Doors Down tickets if they thought they’d get to hear my Superman, or Krytonite, whatever it’s called. Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no illusions; I know that particular solo is nothing special. Not like when I’m totally in the zone and the proper dancing starts and I throw something like “Sweet Child O’ Mine” on there by G&R. Now that’s air guitar, let me tell you. I’m not saying I go the whole hog – put a bandana on, or even a wig, for that matter – but I do let rip and give ‘em what they want, the imaginary 150,000 crowd, that is. So what of it, Punkness? You gonna get down to that thur Big Apple and grapple with some air? You gonna strap on that nonexistent appendage and hit those high nothing notes on that imaginary Stairway to Heaven of yours?

She's attracted attention to herself for snogging Britney, shagging Sean Penn, and marrying wannaba-working-class-but-really-a-middle-class-drip-from-London Guy Ritchie.

Recently she seems to have sparked a mass Hollywood flip to quasi-mystico-Judaism, with Demi Moore, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Spears (again!) following suit, sporting braided red wrist-strings the significance of which surely none of them have the foggiest idea. But rumors are now pointing to the divorce courts for the artist formerly known as Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone and her poof-guy-not-tough-guy Guy. If those two split, there'll be plenty of five-pound notes flying, that's for sure. I believe in England they call them "sky-divers", fivers. Or "deep sea divers"...
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With thousands of acres of rainforest being demolished every year for farmland and wood harvesting, charities are scrambling at the chance to preserve one of the world’s natural wonders. We all thought that Gordon Sumner, also known as superstar "Sting," and his wife Trudie Styler were heading up a noble effort with their Rainforest Foundation Charity. However, It has recently come to the attention of Charity Navigator, a charity evaluator, that less than half of the monies raised at Sting’s 2006 charity concert were actually allocated to rainforest efforts. This earned the foundation a zero stars out of a possible four for effectiveness.
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If you haven't heard the utterly tragic news yet, you soon will; prima donna Mariah Carey rushed to the altar with "Wild N' Out" actor Nick Cannon last Wednesday, April 30th. The shocking nuptials, which were recently confirmed by Cannon's family, took place at Carey's Eleuthera estate in the Bahamas. Sources close to Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, Cannon's ex-fiancé, suspect that the 17 carat diamond bling Carey has been sporting recently is Ebanks' recycled engagement ring. Real classy Cannon...

To top off the jaw-dropping news, the two got hitched without a pre-nup! Do we have another Kevin Federline on our hands? If so, we may have to grab some Mariah Carey tickets soon because this girl is gonna' need the money. At 38, being 11 years Cannon's senior, we have to wonder if this is a shotgun wedding. Poor Child...
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If you haven't heard the utterly tragic news yet, you soon will; prima donna Mariah Carey rushed to the altar with "Wild N' Out" actor Nick Cannon last Wednesday, April 30th. The shocking nuptials, which were recently confirmed by Cannon's family, took place at Carey's Eleuthera estate in the Bahamas. Sources close to Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, Cannon's ex-fiancé, suspect that the 17 carat diamond bling Carey has been sporting recently is Ebanks' recycled engagement ring. Real classy Cannon...

To top off the jaw-dropping news, the two got hitched without a pre-nup! Do we have another Kevin Federline on our hands? If so, we may have to grab some Mariah Carey tickets soon because this girl is gonna' need the money. At 38, being 11 years Cannon's senior, we have to wonder if this is a shotgun wedding. Poor Child...
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Country superstar Kenny Chesney's latest tour almost suffered a set-back this week, when the ten-gallon titan injured his foot during a concert Saturday. The incident occurred while Chesney was performing at Columbia, South Carolina's Williams-Brice Stadium, and the singer finished the show in some pain but confident the Kenny Chesney tour schedule will not be affected. This will be a relief to his vast body of fans distributed along the tour route.

Apparently, Chesneys boot was stuck between the stage and a hydraulic platform which rose up next to him. He was pinned in this position for about half a minute, but was then released. Chesney continued to perform in some pain and with a pronounced limp, and he had to have his cowboy boot cut off when the show ended. An X-ray showed crushed bones in Chesney's foot, but he remains determined that the show must go on. This includes the Austin, Texas show planned for Thursday, May 1.
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Remember when you could walk into a bookstore and there were just two sections – Fiction and Non-Fiction? Or a record store (assuming you remember what records were and aren’t just being a trendy "vinyl freak" or whatever you Johnny-come-latelys are calling yourselves these days)? There’d be a ton of Rock/Pop and then some Classical, and that’d be it. Rock and Pop included everything from Psychedelic, Punk, Blues, New Wave, and Electronica, to Ska, Bluebeat, Folk, and Country. Nowadays we have "nu-" this and "nu-" that. Nu? Wasn’t that a super-civilization from before Atlantis or something? Don’t tell me; it doesn’t matter.
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